Men Are Coddled
We’re living at a time of unprecedented phallic comfort.
A lot of people think that it’s a hard time to be a man. But the truth is we’re living at a time of unprecedented phallic comfort. Just consider men’s underwear. Innovative technical fabrics are designed for extreme coziness, maximum stretch, and anti-microbial moisture-wicking.
Tencel and Modal are made from Bamboo. SeaWool comes from oyster shells. Polyethene terephthalate (PET) is spun from upcycled soda bottles. It’s not only the fabrics, but also the design. Flaps and gussets are sewn into the crotch of forty-five-dollar boxer-briefs, creating the perfect pouch. It’s so supportive, like a hammock for my junk.
This is one reason why I don’t believe any of those loudmouths on Twitter who say “cancel culture” and #MeToo are indicative of a devaluation of masculinity. No, that’s absurd. There are plenty of things that are hard about living in this era. Being a man is not one of them. I’ve got a modern-day techno-loincloth cradling my scrotum. I know exactly how pleasant these times are for male genitalia.
The founding father of men’s briefs was Arthur Kneibler. In 1934, he designed the first tighty-whiteys with a Y-front-fly. They mimicked the bathing trunks he saw depicted on a postcard from the French Riviera. High couture! He manufactured 600…
